On Favours…

Favourer: There you go.

Favouree: Oh, thank you so much! Seriously, you have no idea how appreciative I am.

Favourer: Go on then.

Favouree: Sorry?

Favourer: I don’t like my own ignorance. How appreciative are you?

Favouree: Er…

Favourer: I’m not asking for recompense or anything. It was a gift from me to you. It cost me next to nothing but gave you great benefit. I just want to know how much.

Favouree: Uh…why?

Favourer: A few reasons actually. Firstly, although I’m an altruist, I’m not a perfect altruist. It gives me warm fuzzy feelings to help someone else. If I’ve no idea how appreciative you are, I have no idea how warm or fuzzy to feel. Secondly, although I’m not a perfect altruist, I do want to be an efficient altruist, so I’d like to know if the time I spent doing this kind act could be spent doing something better, or if I’m best spending more time doing this sort of kind act in future rather than another.

Favouree: …

Favourer: Thirdly, if this is a common class of problem, I might be able to come up with a global solution to it for all the people who ever experience it, and knowing how much it benefits you will help me figure out if it’s a viable social or commercial enterprise.

Favouree: I thought you said you didn’t want recompense.

Favourer: Well, not for this individual act, no, but that doesn’t oblige me to go out of my way to do the same favour for everyone who needs it. It might not be worth me doing it for everyone. Alternatively, it might be comparatively simple to do it for everyone if they subsidise me an amount less than it’s worth to them, which is why I need the information from you.

Favouree: Look, I’m just going to…

Favourer: Fourthly, I’m curious to see whether placing an explicit value on a favour devalues it in the eyes of the recipient. You were extremely thankful a moment ago when you didn’t have to think just how thankful you were. I’m curious to know whether asking you to value it, even though I’m not asking you for that value, sours you to the original act.

Favouree: You know, I think it might do.

Favourer: I think so too, even though you’ve basically got something for free, and we’re both essentially happy with that. Isn’t that a bit weird?

Favouree: Yeah, something’s definitely a bit weird.

Favourer: The favour is essentially something for nothing, but now you’re asked to volunteer its value, you’re probably starting to regret being that favour’s recipient, right?

Favouree: Very astute of you.

Favourer: The only satisfactory explanation I can come up with is that the information of how much the favour is worth to you is, confusingly, worth more than the favour itself, even though I’ve explicitly told you I don’t want recompense for it.

Favouree: Well, can you do me another favour? And I’ll tell you exactly how much I appreciate it.

Favourer: Go on…

Favouree: Here’s a fiver. Fuck off.