Savoury Success
I used to be quite fat. Think somewhere between Big Daddy and Winston Churchill, and you’ll have me circa 2004. By eating sensibly and getting more exercise, I’m now somewhere around Adrian Chiles from The One Show. Unfortunately, recent job changes have forced me into the lifestyle of regularly eating out of vending machines, and daily Yorkie Bar fixes have seen me slide back down into gravity’s warm, wobbly caress.
So I started making vaguely sensible packed lunches, and as a result I haven’t had a single Yorkie Bar in about a month. I’ve been having Muller Corners instead. Today I had a flavour called “Vanilla Choco Balls”, and if that doesn’t sound like an interracial gay porn title, I don’t know what does. Anyway, whilst munching away on this, contemplating ethnically diverse adult films for the discerning gentleman, a question occured to me.
Why do you not get savoury Muller Corners?
They’re a delicious culinary accident just waiting to happen. The first idea that sprang to mind was pork scratchings and dripping, which would probably be an experience not entirely unlike fellating a pig, but beyond this are ideas with a bit more mainstream appeal. Croutons and soup, for example. Turkey and gravy. Lemongrass and thai green paste. Crackers and caviar. Cream cheese and biscuits. Miniature sausages and smooth creamy mashed potato. Meaty faggots in a thick curry sauce. Actually, that last one might be a sequel for Vanilla Choco Balls.
The boundaries between sweet and savoury are in dire need of transgression. We have donuts filled with jam, custard and chocolate. Why not mushy peas, dusted with a light sprinkling of salt? Switch off your food format conventions! Turn the edible world on its self-assured and presumptuous head. Beef ice lollies. Fried tempura vegetable cookies. Peppered hash brown bars in a thick tomato coating.
Subverting your food has never been so enjoyable. Or sickening.
One Response to “Savoury Success”
Ah, but you do.
Take a walk down the freezer aisle and you have plenty of options in the traditional ready meal style. Being a crouton fan myself I was delighted to see a cup-a-soup with a compartmental lid that contained some croutons. The mushy peas *are* coated in salt too.
I do agree with your sentiment though. I`m 27. I can`t have tried everything there is, yet walking down aisle after aisle at Tesco gives me the same items I`ve tasted time after time. I`ve had to start specifically hunting out new and obscure things to eat as the shops seem unwilling to show them to me. I`m enjoying the fact that some supermarkets are branching further out to traditional foods from other countries and races.
I would actually like to try that hash brown bar. I can imagine something akin to a breakfast cereal bar. Grilled and crunchy potato as an outer crust to give it strength and structure with a softer mash like filling all topped off with a line of tomato and herbs down the top. Mmm.
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